Solitaire Review– One
When you’re down dwelling on the bottom already, you have no other place to go but climb up. Right? Apparently, no. Big Ben Interactive and Hydravision just dug deeper down the hole with their fourth classic arcade title– Solitaire. It is incomprehensible, an offense to all senses, why, oh, why does this thing happen.
Solitaire plays exactly like solitaire and we are not asking for a total reinvention of this game. Alright, you just want a solitaire game in your PSP to keep you busy while riding the bus, being stuck in a long queue or waiting for your delayed flight. It’s actually better for you to approach the nearest human being and start a conversation about the latest juices from Perez Hilton. Heck, I’ll even advise you to smoke to kill your time and yourself slowly. Solitaire games are available as freebies in mobile phones already or if not it’s easily downloadable without a fee. This particular Solitaire robs you your money and your love for humanity.
Two modes: 1-Card mode and 3-Card mode. If you don’t know how to play Solitaire, play it on your PC, it has better graphics, better controls, the tutorial actually helps and it is absolutely mind-numbingly for free. Solitaire has this very annoying game design. At first, for me at least, I don’t know how to navigate through the piles. The instructions tip that using the shoulder buttons will let you navigate the depth of the column in case there are runs that you would like to transfer to other columns. I couldn’t. So I searched for my UMDs and tried other games, I feared that my shoulder buttons are dead. I went back to playing Solitaire after verifying that my shoulder buttons are still working. I still couldn’t figure it out. After several minutes of experimenting, the instructions are actually right. The game just highlights the column in a light-blue color but the pointer remains on top of the column. It must have been my putrid eye-for-details but is it difficult to design the game of which the pointer moves along the column as you press the shoulder buttons or at least highlight the column with noticeable cues? Or how about highlighting the borders with strong colors? Even kilobytes worth of solitaire freeware implement such design.
Again, this is about chasing high-scores (actually the shortest time that you finish a game will be recorded on the table). Can they just add some special scoring system? Like punishing you with something every time you flip the deck? Or how about a timed solitaire? Please, put some challenges that make this game interesting. The soundtrack is average and for the universe’s sake why is there a 3-2-1 GO! cue before starting the game?! To provide a thrilling atmosphere? Great. Should I shudder now?
The graphics are not horrible, they’re just lazy. When automating the arrangement of suite stacks by pressing the Triangle button, it doesn’t even animate. It will just VOILA!…instant teleportation. May I remind you that the MS Solitaire does animate the cards when stacking.
What can I say? Just don’t buy this game.
1/10 (Hey, I can play solitaire in my mobile phone for free with three variations. And beautiful graphics.)